WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
