I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
