I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
