went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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