this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
