its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
