we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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