my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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