I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
