a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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