remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
