"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
