I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
