I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wish you could order shots online.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
