he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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