Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
