OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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