She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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