$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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