I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
