let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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