White coat. Heels.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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