They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
