he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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