Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
