You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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