Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
