they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was confusing and full of hummus
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize