i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
birth control should be required to get into college
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
