I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
