I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
