Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you win again, gameday.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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