he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
