we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
