So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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