Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
