No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
