I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
