My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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