i'm signing you up for texting rehab
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
