Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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