K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
