He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just found puke in my bra..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
