Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
