I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
