I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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