There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
