Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
