Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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