her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize