Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I want her autograph on my taint
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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