ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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