Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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