It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
