he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
