my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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