Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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