She said her name was "party"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
