I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dicks are not precious.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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