Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
