i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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