so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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