bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think people are normalizing furries
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
