I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
